You’ll fall in love with the line-blurrer, the mind-player – the man whose approval gives your barely five-foot impressionable self a glimpse of how wonderfully euphoric the world looks from cloud nine. Whose name tapdances on the tip of your tongue, awaiting its next window of opportunity to be brought into the moment, as if being the dirty little secret of a man that much older that any conversation has you feeling as if you’re dissociatively watching from the sidelines is something to delightfully squeal from the rooftops – A revolution in the world of love resume smudges. The Byronic game-setter – game changer even, who has you disgracefully teetering the chessboard. It will take a lot of daydreaming, more tears than you thought it possible to fall and even more poor judgement to realise that yes, you may have been his pawn, his plaything, but sweetheart, you could never be his queen.
You'll fall in love with melancholy. Intense, deep sadness. A masochistic fetishism for breaking to smitherines. Why? Because it's a reminder between the bewilderment and disarray that he was real. How grieving that your heartbreak is far more tangible an entity than he ever was.
And that love for rawness will follow you long after he deflects your path. And i promise you, unlike most others in your teen years, its a timeless kind of love.
You’ll fall in love with that boy with the perfect hair, whose eyes sparkle when he smiles – when he looks at you. They say that if you’re to ever fall in love, then you should fall for someones eyes. Life shapens, hardens.. changes us. It in itself is the wildcard we’re handed, yet eyes are the one story teller, comfort and undisguise; The blemisher to his otherwise, ironically vacuous, bravado. He's a stranger now but his eyes still tell you more than he ever would let slip from his mouth. You'll fall in love with fate and soulmates and guardian angels and the way he makes them all resonate with you. But most of all with innocence. With unconditional love. A “have we met before” kind of love. A “maybe in another life” kind of love.
You'll fall in love with your bestfriend and wonder why all the love songs in the world aren't sung about them.
You'll fall in love with the whildwind romancer, the sweet talker, the one your mother warned you about. It wont take long to discover that the level of passion is unsustainable, for he's the dandelion love. The one you'll only be given the chance to love for half a night. On those nights of feeling vulgar and unsubstantial, take comfort in the knowledge that all that falls, breaks. But to love in half measures is merely to become fragmented at the edges. Not all loves are for a lifetime.
You'll fall in love with fragility, where the happy ever after taunts you in the mask of a clown at the other end of the tightrope. Rejoicement and disquietude colliding in gushes of toxic instability. You'll come to the conclusion that homes require bricks and water, not a heartbeat and to attempt to reside in the latter, is to ultimately annihilate yourself. The upmost unsafest haven in the arms of a faux blue eyed- lost boy.
Read more of Rebecca's blogs on mental health, egalitarianism and everything inbetween.
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