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Everything Can Be Hidden By A Smile

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“Come on babe! You’ll miss your bus again!....”

Yeah yeah, god he moans my hair needs doing, I have time, and the bus is like 10 minutes away. The bus! It’s a bus, what’s wrong with a bus? Don’t be stupid woman it’s just a bus, shall I tie my hair up or shall I straighten, I have time the bus is 10 minutes, the bus, I have to get the bus, the bus…..

“Babe come on! The bus is in 10 minutes!”

I know, I know, I’m coming…. Got to get the bus! The bus! It’s a bus, I can do this, can I do this?  Maybe I shouldn’t go in today, I can get someone to take notes, its only 3 lessons, I can catch up later, I don’t have to get the bus, I can stay home, I don’t need to go, I don’t need to get the bus, that’s it I can stay home!

“Babe! Come on!” ….. I’M NOT GOING! …. “What? Why not?”

Oh here we go, wait for it you can’t take time off, you have to get the bus… blah blah blah, I don’t care what he says I’m not going, I can stay home, I don’t need to get the bus, I AM NOT GOING!

“It’s an hour, I’ll pick you up! You have a drink and some food, sit near a window….”

Yeah it’s an hour, it’s a bus, its fine, I’ll eat my apple and finish my cuppa, yeah I’ll sit near a window… wait what if the window is closed? What if I can’t get a seat? I feel sick, I need to go home, I’m gonna be sick, I better go home, I’ve probably got a bug, I need to go back to bed, yes I need to go back to bed, I’ll feel better later, I have a bug…..

“Here we are!  There’s people there so you haven’t missed it… just text me if you need to..”

OMG OMG OMG there’s loads of people, they might have a bug, they might have a cold, they’re going to pass it on to me. That woman just coughed, she’s got a cold.  No no it’s fine I’ll stand away from her, she might not even get on the bus, yeah that’s it she’ll be waiting for someone, she’s not getting on the bus, she can’t pass her cold to me.

“Babe, come on! Out you get! It's fine, text me when you get to Uni, love you!”

Yeah whatever!  He’s so mean, why can’t he take me? Why do I have to get the bus? We haven't got the petrol, the car doesn’t like too many long journeys! Liar! He’s just mean, he does it on purpose, he wants me to get ill, he doesn’t understand.  Oh! The bus is coming! Just get on, just get on, its fine, its fine, the bus driver is nice, oh it will be the lady driver, she’s nice she has nice hair, she’ll drive nicely, yeah it’s fine, it’s a bus. OMG it’s here, let them all get on first, oh no he’s letting me on first, what do I do? What shall I say?  Quick, quick think!

“Awhh thank you my love, but no you go first!”

See not so bad! It’s a bus, it’s just a bus!

Oh no! It’s not the girl, who’s he? I don’t know him? Is he new? Can he drive the bus? Will he drive properly? I wonder when he passed his test?  He’s got grey hair, he must have been driving ages, yeah he can drive properly, and he’ll drive safe! Smile, smile, just smile and flash your pass at him!

Good morning! Thanks!”

Yep this is fine! This is ok! Walk, walk, walk, look for a seat, quick, is there a space? No one’s at the back, head to the back, hold your breath, just walk past, no one’s ill, no one has any germs, don’t breath, and sit! And relax, breath in breath out, breath in breath out!

I feel sick, no I’m hungry or am I going to be sick, have a drink, yeah have a drink, where’s my tea? Oh no where’s my tea? What did I do with it, it’s not in my drinks holder! Is it on the seat? No no its not there, did I put on the floor? No no its not there, where did I leave it? Omg I need a drink, I feel sick, I feel sick, oh no I’m gonna be sick- what’s he looking at? Does he know? He knows? He knows I’m gonna be sick omg omg what shall I do? Quick, quick think! Think, think! What am I thinking? Oh yes the window, open the window, fresh air, I need the air, come on open, open you stupid window OPENNNNNNNNN!!!!! Ahhhh I’ll eat my apple, its fine I can still breathe…..



What was that? Who done that? Who sneezed! That man did, OMG he has flu, he has flu, he’s gonna give me flu, omg I’m gonna get flu, quick I need the doctor, quick phone the doctor, omg I have flu, omg my temperature is going up, I’m hot, I’m hot, quick take off my jacket, I’m hot, oh no I’m gonna be sick, oh no I’m gonna be sick, where are we, I’ll get off, can I get off? Yeah I’ll walk, no I can’t walk my knees hurt already, what shall I do? What shall I do? Omg he sneezed again! Don’t cry, don’t cry, quick get hubby, hubby will come and get me, yeah he’ll get me, text hubby, where’s my phone, my phone? Oh where’s my phone, it must be in there? Where is it? Ahh there it is, text hubby, quick text hubby!

“Calm down babe, its fine, you’re just hot! Take your jacket off and your cardi! Make sure the window is open, he won’t give you flu, you’re nearly at uni you can do this babe come on breathe – it's fine honest baby it's fine!”

Yes, yes I can do this nearly there, I’ll be there soon, I can see the stop, don’t ring yet, wait… wait… now! Ring the bell, ring the bell, go to the front, come on quick go to the front, don’t breathe, don’t breathe, omg omg, hold your breath….

“Thank you! Bye!”

And breathe in, out, in, out, in, out…

“Hey! Hey! Hello love you alright? You look well, how’s things?”

I’m really well thank you, how are you?


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